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Land Rover Owners - Who Drives What

You've all read the "you are what you drive" psychoanalysis bits. So we put together a 100% Land Rover version. WHY? Well firstly because we can and secondly each model owner has his/her own idiosyncrasies. Obviously it is tongue and cheek but there are some worrying truths lurking among it all.

Series 1

These guys usually come from KZN and wear veldskoens and veldt hats. They are relaxed easy going and enjoy a good few pints, preferably in the berg somewhere. Their vehicles are hardworking and have been in use for longer than the owners can remember. They run them on a strictly break and fix maintenance plan. Really proud owners make use of "new" remanufactured parts, less proud owners upgrade to series 2 and 3 parts. Accessories are limited to functional homemade devices that last forever. These owners are still struggling with concepts such as gearbox synchros, high speeds 80+km/h, turnkey ignitions and engine sizes greater than 2.0 litres.  

Series 2

An interesting bunch here who are not quite sure where they fit in. Clearly technology and progress are important to them otherwise they would be driving a Series 1. However they draw a fine line between progress and unnecessary luxuries. These guys decided way back in 1974 that Land Rover had gone soft by opting for things like a plastic dash, syncro gearbox and a plastic grill.  Consequently they regard the Series 2 as the last of the real land rovers. These are adventurous outwardly mobile types who pack their vehicles overnight and head for undisclosed locations. Accessories are irrelevant to this group as they clearly have the best vehicle manufactured with plenty of space so they have it all.  

Series 3

These are the first generation of softened Land Rover owners. Clearly more sophisticated and in touch with the real world these guys like their luxuries. Being able to combine the undisputed ruggedness and performance with comfy trim and a smoother ride, sold these guys on their Landies. These owners as well as being outwardly mobile have shown tendencies to be upwardly mobile. They are family types eager to get out and see the lesser known spots in Southern Africa The hardcore Series 3 owner still considers himself a descendent of the Camel man and prouds himself on the fact that his model actually took part in the Camel trophy back in the early days when it was still the real thing. The really adventurous Series 3 owner is an overland veteran and busy planning or doing a Trans African trip. They like to be thought of, in retrospect, as the cream of series owners, but don’t know that in series vehicles the cream runs the other way!  They like driving the best of the cheap Land Rovers.

110

These are truly powerful individuals with a need for speed and a thirst for power. The thought of driving a Land Rover with a V8 made these guys go soft at the knees, and all else seemed irrelevant. With the thirst for power still fresh on their minds, the thirst for petrol hit their pockets. But like the vehicles they drive they persevered and found comfort in the burbling of the V8. These owners started to resemble the average population where features such as roll down windows, smoother gear changes, functional heaters and speeds in excess of 100km/h are considered normal. These owners are clearly status conscious and pride themselves on driving a 20-year-old vehicle that looks exactly the same as the ones currently rolling off the production line. To some owners the accessories mean more than the vehicle itself and in some case the accessories actually cost more as well.  

Defender Td5 an Tdi (consider 90 & 110)

These owners as common as they seem, are breeds unto themselves. Strangely enough they exhibit some of the eagerness and loyalty evident in behavioral patterns of a Series 1 owner. Some of these Td owners are oblivious to the existence of a Series 1. These owners drive state of the art vehicles and pay state of the art prices for them. They are definitely upwardly mobile and like to think that they are outwardly mobile. For the milder owner, Getaway destinations do just fine but for the series 1 like owners more exotic destinations are in store. These guys are also true individualists, often putting up with abuse from family and friends alike for buying a truck that costs more than a BMW. They adorn their prize catches with every camel trophy accessory available and look like they are going on an overland trip every time they leave the driveway on their way to work. They can always be recognized by the fact that one eye does not blink or turn as it is used to monitor engine temperature. They all secretly hope their vehicles will out last a V8. To the question “Do you smoke?”  they usually answer by saying “A little on acceleration”  

Defender 2.8i

These owners are street smart speed freaks, diesel haters, red light draggers and toy boys, they are the bad boys of the Land Rover fraternity. Both street racers and monster trucks are fair game to the 2.8i owner. All of them really great people and love their Landies but with umbilical cords still attached to BMW, this group is not quite aboard.  These are confident owners who lead busy lives and do not have time to waste on breakdowns and engine problems. They are comfortable in the right hand lane and can hold their own on any freeway. Despite their clean-cut appearance they have definite mud plugging tendencies and are hell-bent on proving that their machines are as capable as any other Landy.  

Classic Range Rover

Clearly these are incredibly stylish people with an eye for a piece of art worthy of display in the Louvre. Comfort, style, sophistication and good taste set these owners apart from any other Land Rover owners, never mind other 4x4 owners. They are content at knowing they drive the best universal 4x4 ever made and that it is still capable of taking on the newest head on. Shunned by their stable mates and welcomed by the rest these owners have successfully managed to integrate with Land Rover and non-Land Rover owners alike. Extremely flexible and forward thinking means that these people are always ahead of the pack and well balanced. They are generally very confident and un-intrusive.  

Range Rover and Range Rover Sport

As an owner of such an immaculate piece of machinery you are clearly invincible and a leader in your field. Petty arguments about whose vehicle is better and other low life vehicle bashing techniques are way beneath these kings. Fellow owners include kings, queens, rock stars, movie stars, world leaders and oil barons. Association with fellow Land Rover owners is by choice and a memorable occasion for mere mortal Land Rover Owners. The impeccable taste and style displayed by these owners means that their vehicles are pristine and only adorned with the finest useless accessories. Silence and peace are important to these owners as they effortlessly glide from destination to destination. As with all things, off roading is a choice that some owners either make or don't make, it is entirely their decision  

Discovery

Being in the right place at the right time is something that all of these owners have in common. Some where between a Defender and a Range Rover owner is where these guys find themselves. Content with the middle road these owners are movers, but not necessarily shakers, unless of course they drive a really old shagged out Disco. They are well-balanced individuals who accept challenges with out compromising comfort. They don't necessarily regard themselves as Land Rover owners, unless they really want to. Image and appearances are all important and the Land Rover badge just says it all. Many of these owners can be very deceptive especially on weekends, when they transform both physically and mentally into wannabe camel trophy adventurers. With the financial backing of a multinational company they descend on accessory outfitters to clear out their stocks and then head for the nearest mud hole to test everything.  

Freelander

These owners are the most normal by public standards, but the strangest by land rover standards. They are very cautious levelheaded people who are starting to take risks. They typify the label hunters of our time and are extremely brand conscious. They are clearly intelligent go-getters who worked out that the Land Rover name buys them a lifestyle and free off road driver training. They have their feet firmly planted in the city and see dust roads as a challenge. They have an inner voice telling them that something in their lives has to change. For some of them this will become a reality as they start to sell all their belongings to afford more or better Land Rovers.  

 

Multiple vehicle owners

These owners are the most unstable and unpredictable of all. Their allegiance to any particular model has been surpassed by an obsession for anything Land Rover. It is not known whether or not this is due to all the vehicles that they own, or this has resulted in them owning all the vehicles they own. Despite being unstable and unpredictable these people are well aware of their fate and quite content to see it out. They are generally great storytellers with incredible memories, recalling triumphs and disasters with equal amounts of glee. They can be incredibly convincing at times, especially on the topic of Land Rovers. There are two types of multiple vehicle owners.

One bunch buy Discos, Defenders and Range Rovers ‘cos they are image symbols and thus must-haves. Sometimes fitted with lots of accessories to get that authentic Tomb Raider look. Sometimes Land Rover ownership if found to be fun and in a moment of weakness they buy a series vehicle and become hooked for life.

The other bunch is the die-hard Land Rover types. Born in and into Land Rovers they spend every penny, every waking hour on their vehicles, often they don’t know how many they have and “new” ones suddenly appear on weekends when the wife/husband is away. They have dirty fingernails and a MIDAS credit card. There is often a broad range of vehicles covering the entire range but never will a brand new vehicle be seen in their possession. 

 

 

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